The doubtless.

“Zidnie, how do you know that mas Fahmi is the one?”,  Nadia asked.

Hi there,

It’s Zidnie.

I hope you are doing well, guys.

Recently one of my friend ask me that question. With the hot and humid weather, of course I can’t answer (you better talk to me when the weather is nice and cool so my brain can work properly, LOL). I just responded quick, “yeah, you just know, trust me”.

But yeah, girls, you just know.

You know my story with him; I never plan to fall in love with him, I never met him after 6 years and the last time (which was our first time) we meet, we were just saying hi.

I would say, you will know that he’s the one with no doubt. Like, there are nothings could made you say no. He is insanely perfect to your criteria and condition (and your family). And that, ladies and gentlemen, is not only your brain’s says but also your heart’s.

However, me and mas Fahmi have a privilege to analyze objectively before we fell to each other, and I will recommend everyone to objectively assess then love afterwards. So, along with the doubtless thought, we also confirmed and discussed several things before we decided to get married:

• Which kind of person we are.

Dear netizen, since me and mas Fahmi don’t know each other before so we talk about who are we. We talked about how we as individuals deal with personal problems, our weaknesses, our own individual dreams and the strategy to get it.

I found that me and mas Fahmi is similar yet different. He tends to be more sensitive, ngga enakan – so Javanese, mas!, and he collected his motivation by his nearest support system. Meanwhile, I was so practical, no basa-basi, and more insensitive. But his weaknesses are my strength and my weaknesses could be covered by him. Probably this is why we matched LOL.

• Which kind of family we are in.

There is a saying “you are not only marry the son but you also marry the whole family”. This is the reason why you need to know his/her family, guys. 

I asked mas Fahmi the background of his family, his family’s biggest problem and the culture to solve it. Why it’s important? Because believe it or not, there is a family who solve their problems with just say nothing and just let the time heals meanwhile my family is the type who will solve it with 1 on 1 discussion. I do not want to find difficulties to mingle with his family later on.  

Last but not least, I asked him what their parents wish for mas Fahmi. Do his parents want him to stay closely with them? Do they support a wife to work within the office hours? etc.

• The financial management and issues.

Mas Fahmi asked me about my consumption level, how much I can save from my scholarship living allowance, how can I get my smartphone or the macbook, how I see riba and other investment tools. Because it will illustrate how I will spend the household money and manage it. 

Since he wants me to be in charge with money-things at home, so I asked him does he have a credit card or loan so I can decide what to do first.

For me, the amount of time you’ve spent together with your lover will not guarantee you be sure with them. But once you do, you will not doubt them a bit. I wish you feel it soon! If it does not, trust me, it will come, and you just know ;)

XOXO

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The marriage sacrifice.

Hi, everyone. 

Zidnie is back.

This is my second week doing the Instagram detox (in case you are wondering where was I. LOL). Meanwhile, I will do the update here, in my husband’s blog. 

I’ve recently watched ‘Hanum and Rangga: Faith in the City’ yesterday. Despite from its political controversy, I found some interesting points about marriage, which I also experienced. 

One of the points I’d like to highlight is the sacrifice. Pictured on the film, Hanum is obsessed to her dreams, being a journalist in New York City. She, unfortunately, forgets her main job as a wife. She never come home punctually. She gives her husband an instant noodle for breakfast frequently because she has no time to prepare breakfast. And even they do not have any couple quality time. I somewhat agree with the movie twist ending that Hanum decides to go with Rangga, her husband, to Vienna, leave New York City and she said “my dream is wherever am with you”.

“Zidnie, don’t you say you agree that women could not have dreams and men could?”

Nope.

“Zidnie, then you say that women should only services the man and can’t do anything more than that?”

Nope!

I believe, wife should not give up on her dreams. But there is a difference after the marriage. I stated at the on-air interview, “Girls, married only when you finished achieving your personal dreams. Cause after married, no more my dreams or his dreams, but our dreams, together”. 

I am pretty satisfied and grateful of what I’ve achieved up to this time. I also have many more dreams to come. But decided to marry a man named Fahmi Habibi means I turn my dreams to Habibi X Urbayani vision. Which we will reach it together, with both hands, brains, and prays. This is why I believe the urgency to marry someone who has the same vision and dreams as yours. Because from now on, it will be ‘our’ dreams. Moreover, there is a saying “behind a man’s successful there is a brave and successful woman” because believe it or not, that is actually ‘our’ dreams.

Quoted from Michelle Obama’s interview with Oprah, “Marriage is hard work for any couple”. You need to build and maintain the love with all matters. By that, you can work together as a teammate to achieve ‘our’ dreams. 

It is a piece of my random thought. Give your opinion with comment below or do tell me your thought on other social media platform. 

Till next time, 

XOXO

PS: Anyways, mas Fahmi happy 2^nd month being with me. Let us fly higher with this marriage-ship. Aye aye, Captain!

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