The doubtless.

“Zidnie, how do you know that mas Fahmi is the one?”,  Nadia asked.

Hi there,

It’s Zidnie.

I hope you are doing well, guys.

Recently one of my friend ask me that question. With the hot and humid weather, of course I can’t answer (you better talk to me when the weather is nice and cool so my brain can work properly, LOL). I just responded quick, “yeah, you just know, trust me”.

But yeah, girls, you just know.

You know my story with him; I never plan to fall in love with him, I never met him after 6 years and the last time (which was our first time) we meet, we were just saying hi.

I would say, you will know that he’s the one with no doubt. Like, there are nothings could made you say no. He is insanely perfect to your criteria and condition (and your family). And that, ladies and gentlemen, is not only your brain’s says but also your heart’s.

However, me and mas Fahmi have a privilege to analyze objectively before we fell to each other, and I will recommend everyone to objectively assess then love afterwards. So, along with the doubtless thought, we also confirmed and discussed several things before we decided to get married:

• Which kind of person we are.

Dear netizen, since me and mas Fahmi don’t know each other before so we talk about who are we. We talked about how we as individuals deal with personal problems, our weaknesses, our own individual dreams and the strategy to get it.

I found that me and mas Fahmi is similar yet different. He tends to be more sensitive, ngga enakan – so Javanese, mas!, and he collected his motivation by his nearest support system. Meanwhile, I was so practical, no basa-basi, and more insensitive. But his weaknesses are my strength and my weaknesses could be covered by him. Probably this is why we matched LOL.

• Which kind of family we are in.

There is a saying “you are not only marry the son but you also marry the whole family”. This is the reason why you need to know his/her family, guys. 

I asked mas Fahmi the background of his family, his family’s biggest problem and the culture to solve it. Why it’s important? Because believe it or not, there is a family who solve their problems with just say nothing and just let the time heals meanwhile my family is the type who will solve it with 1 on 1 discussion. I do not want to find difficulties to mingle with his family later on.  

Last but not least, I asked him what their parents wish for mas Fahmi. Do his parents want him to stay closely with them? Do they support a wife to work within the office hours? etc.

• The financial management and issues.

Mas Fahmi asked me about my consumption level, how much I can save from my scholarship living allowance, how can I get my smartphone or the macbook, how I see riba and other investment tools. Because it will illustrate how I will spend the household money and manage it. 

Since he wants me to be in charge with money-things at home, so I asked him does he have a credit card or loan so I can decide what to do first.

For me, the amount of time you’ve spent together with your lover will not guarantee you be sure with them. But once you do, you will not doubt them a bit. I wish you feel it soon! If it does not, trust me, it will come, and you just know ;)

XOXO

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The marriage sacrifice.

Hi, everyone. 

Zidnie is back.

This is my second week doing the Instagram detox (in case you are wondering where was I. LOL). Meanwhile, I will do the update here, in my husband’s blog. 

I’ve recently watched ‘Hanum and Rangga: Faith in the City’ yesterday. Despite from its political controversy, I found some interesting points about marriage, which I also experienced. 

One of the points I’d like to highlight is the sacrifice. Pictured on the film, Hanum is obsessed to her dreams, being a journalist in New York City. She, unfortunately, forgets her main job as a wife. She never come home punctually. She gives her husband an instant noodle for breakfast frequently because she has no time to prepare breakfast. And even they do not have any couple quality time. I somewhat agree with the movie twist ending that Hanum decides to go with Rangga, her husband, to Vienna, leave New York City and she said “my dream is wherever am with you”.

“Zidnie, don’t you say you agree that women could not have dreams and men could?”

Nope.

“Zidnie, then you say that women should only services the man and can’t do anything more than that?”

Nope!

I believe, wife should not give up on her dreams. But there is a difference after the marriage. I stated at the on-air interview, “Girls, married only when you finished achieving your personal dreams. Cause after married, no more my dreams or his dreams, but our dreams, together”. 

I am pretty satisfied and grateful of what I’ve achieved up to this time. I also have many more dreams to come. But decided to marry a man named Fahmi Habibi means I turn my dreams to Habibi X Urbayani vision. Which we will reach it together, with both hands, brains, and prays. This is why I believe the urgency to marry someone who has the same vision and dreams as yours. Because from now on, it will be ‘our’ dreams. Moreover, there is a saying “behind a man’s successful there is a brave and successful woman” because believe it or not, that is actually ‘our’ dreams.

Quoted from Michelle Obama’s interview with Oprah, “Marriage is hard work for any couple”. You need to build and maintain the love with all matters. By that, you can work together as a teammate to achieve ‘our’ dreams. 

It is a piece of my random thought. Give your opinion with comment below or do tell me your thought on other social media platform. 

Till next time, 

XOXO

PS: Anyways, mas Fahmi happy 2^nd month being with me. Let us fly higher with this marriage-ship. Aye aye, Captain!

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What decided to be yours, will be yours.

Hi there,
It’s Zidnie again.

October 2018, few days before my birthday, a very good news came; Mas Fahmi chosen as one of the Lecturer in Faculty of Animal Science, Universitas Gadjah Mada, one of his dream and of course, I am happy and so proud of him.

The day before he submitted the application, he was with me and he asked my suggestion about his sentence and the grammar before he pressed ‘submit’. When I read his application, my eyes were caught by a sentence of his motivation becoming a lecturer. Let me quote that for you,

“Ada hal lain yang menjadi tujuan utama menjadi seorang dosen adalah menurut kepercayaan yang saya anut, satu dari tiga amal jariyah yang akan abadi adalah apabila kita membagikan ilmu yang bermanfaat bagi orang lain. Dan hal tersebut ada pada kewajiban menjadi seorang dosen.”

“The other reason is in my belief, one of the everlasting practices is sharing the beneficial knowledge to others. And that is obviously the lecturer’s responsibility”

I am touched. I am totally touched by his truth, his kindness, and his dreams. I am envy. I am envy with his ability to dream that big, I am envy with his heart to have a very kind reasons and goals, I am envy with his dedication to achieve his dreams.

He is a dedicated person, indeed. He prepared all the important event at the same time because the selection test was all happened on the wedding week! Early September, he got the notification that he passed the administration test, means he should go to Jogja for the next process. Meanwhile, he was preparing for the wedding at mid-September in Solo.

A day before the wedding, all day long, he was on Psychological test in Jogja. The day, 8 AM, he should sit down at the meja akad nikah in Solo. Right after, we need to go back to Jogja because he needs preparation time for his presentation. An hour after the presentation, we obligated to go to Magetan as we will have second wedding party there. No rest, no honeymoon, no times to ‘breath’. But Alhamdulillah, hard work and effort never betray.

I believe that what decided to be yours will be yours. How hard someone tried, if it does not belong to them then never in a million it will go for them. But one thing that I learn from Mas Fahmi is the capacity to dream, believe and make it happened, and this is why I am a proud wifey!

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The Wedding.

Hi there, 

Zidnie is back!

Few times ago, I opened a discussion in my Instagram @zidniedzakya, most of the question was about my wedding; the vendor, the budget, etc. So, instead of answering it on Instagram. Let me write it down for you. 

Me and mas Fahmi actually want things to be simple on our wedding, as simple as possible. But, hey, a simple wedding is required a long detailed complicated preparation, actually hahahaha :) 

First, me and my parents decided the venue. As I live in Solo, Central Java, and only had 2 months before the d-day, so we did not have many options. We visited several hotels in Solo, our considerations are; location, capacity, budget, and aesthetics. Based on its consideration, we ended up to choose Lorin Solo Hotel as it is near my home (LOL but logic, man!) and not disrupted by many infrastructure constructions in Solo. Its capacity is quite big; big enough to be a simple wedding we want and the place is beautiful. We use both the central garden and the ballroom. The garden equipped for the marriage statement and vow while the ballroom for the reception. We had no regret choosing Lorin Solo hotel as the place for a very special day of us. 

Ps: thanks a bunch to the Sales Marketing, mbak Viena. She knows how detailed I am so I negotiate almost everything! Lol.

Pict 1. The venue for marriage statement

Second, the reason of long discussion between me and my parents, Catering. The benefit of choosing hotel as the reception place is no need to worry about food, absolutely delish. But you know, mom always has her own option of catering, isn’t it? She wants the other catering as it has yum Selat Solo. But, we need to pay additional cost if we bring our own food to the hotel. Mission abort! Haha. Furthermore, because we did the food test and my mom was impressed by the food Lorin’s chef prepared so no complaint. SHE LOVES THE DISH! We choose our menu which are:

1. Selat Solo and Asparagus Chicken Soup as Appetizer
2. Beef Black Paper, Ayam Panggang Betutu, Nila Acar Kuning, Wok Fried Vegetable Oriental Sauce, Fried Rice Noodle with Seafood as Main Course
3. Bread Butter Pudding, Strawberry Short Cake, Es Sarang Burung and Es Teler as Dessert
4. Lumpia Lor In, Lapis Mandarin, Chicken Curry Puff, Klappertaart and Keripik Kentang as snacks

Lorin also offers free flow soft drink and mineral water.

The third things to prepare are décor, photographer, make-up artist and the wedding dress. With so limited times, I was lucky to find the best of the best vendor in Solo. They are counted as new player in this industry in Solo. But I guaranteed you, their works are amazing! 

I cooperated with Max Dekor (instagram: @maxdecorationsolo), Moment Terbaik Photography (ig: @weddingphotosolo), Cyntia Clarizka MUA (ig: @clarizka_mua), henna by alivia (ig: @hennabyalivia) and wedding dress by Hanna Amiroh (ig: @hannaamiroh).

Pict 2. Bride and Groom.

Fourth are the tiny bit things to support the wedding such as; souvenir, printed invitation, outfit for family. I won’t tell you much about this but one thing for sure; I LOVE THE INVITATION DESIGN. Made the one and only in the world by my husband to be! I know he’s so talented and I can rely on and I love him and I am forever grateful he is my husband. 

Pict 3. Three different designs based on the arrival time

I use a Wedding Organizer to help and direct on the day. How about before the day, Zid? Guys, the perfectionist girl like me is willingly to organize things. I was the bride, the WO, the secretary, the treasurer, the negotiator, the designer, and the auditor as well. HAHAHAHA

I created a Google Drive folder to help me communicate with the Groom and my family. I drafted the concept, the list of invitation, the budget, the timeline each day, the vendor details, the rundown, the key success indicator, etc. I told you I am crazily dedicated when I work 😎.

For the budget arrangement,

•          65% for the venue and catering
•         18% for decoration, photography, MUA, Wedding Dress.
•         17% for souvenir, invitation, outfit, WO fee, miscellanous. 

Hope it helps! Will write some more soon.

XOXO, 

Zidnie

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